Ravaged
by valxra
Summary: I died covered in blood, and was reborn covered in blood. This is a cycle I can get used to... [SI/OC]
1. hell sent me down

_i._

**chapter one - **_hell sent me down  
__:-:-: _theme; _used to the darkness _by _des rocs :-:-:_

* * *

He's not afraid of death. It's clear in his actions that he could care less about the fickle thing. His eyes do not look for vehicles when he crosses busy streets; walking alone in the desolate dark doesn't make the hair on the back of his neck rise.

The biggest tell to his lack of fear —the reason his parents abandoned him at a church perhaps— showed itself one night when he was ten years old.

It was a home invasion gone wrong. The stranger that broke in was caught by his father, but not before he was taken as a hostage. A gun was pointed at his head while his parents could do nothing more than watch in fear.

"Griffyth, don't move!" His mother had cried to him.

Thinking back on it, he wants to laugh. He hadn't even been shaking— stupid woman.

He stared up unblinkingly at the person who held his life in their hands and asked a _very _simple question. Despite its simplicity, it shook his parents to the core. Even the stranger, suddenly losing his fearless bravado, froze up in shock.

"What are you waiting for? Shoot me, fucker."

**xxx**

Griffyth was raised by the priest his parents had left him with for five years.

Those years were lived in normalcy, with his "demonic side" never making an appearance. He played the part of a quiet boy who was devoted to his religious studies. The members of the church adored and doted on him, while the priest regarded him with fatherly pride.

In the background, Griffyth was planning out what would become of him _after _this tedious part of his life was finished. At fifteen, Griffyth began earning a monthly allowance by performing menial tasks around the church. He saved for his future, but mostly his freedom.

It was almost too easy; easy enough for Griffyth to be disappointed with the results, despite them being exactly what he wanted.

Antifreeze in the priest's coffee (Griffyth was always _kind _enough to make it for him) is what did it.

On the first day, Griffyth closed the church on account of the priest's poor health. The members were convinced to continue services at one of their chosen houses instead. The teenager told them that he'd call them as soon as the priest was well enough to resume his work.

A week later, the tragedy of the priest's death was known throughout the religious community. They ruled it as "kidney failure", but Griffyth didn't really care for the label. If anything, he felt a little insulted.

The members of the church were split in the middle with their feelings about the priest's death. Some blamed Griffyth for not contacting emergency services sooner, while others pitied him for having to lose his "father figure" and for also having to witness his death.

He didn't care what they thought. Either way, he was gone before the funeral was held― disappearing into the night with his belongings and stolen church offerings.

It was time for his _real _life to begin and for this boring prologue to end.

* * *

"You're so fat," a little boy says with wonder. He stares at his mother's enlarged stomach, confused as to when it managed to grow so big without his noticing. Then again, a lot of things could get past a five-year-old.

"Dumbass," the woman fusses, smacking the child on the back of his head. "Is that something you should say to a woman?!"

Hissing in pain, the boy rubs his head as he glares up into his mother's brown eyes. Clicking his tongue, he huffs, "I was just sayin'! Don't need ta be such a bitch!"

_Smack_.

"Watch your mouth, Hidan!" His mother sneers at him one more time before she leaves the room. He glares after her, his middle finger following her retreating back. "I'm going to work! Make sure you eat dinner— or not, I don't fucking care."

The door slams shut, leaving the five-year-old by himself. Hidan growls to himself, kicking at the dirty wooden floor of his rundown home.

"I hate that dumb whore, I hope she never comes back—"

"_Hidan_!" The front door is thrown open, scaring the absolute shit out of the gray-haired boy. His mother stumbles through the doorway, liquid rolling down her legs and past the extremely short dress her profession required her to wear.

"Damn it, why are you here?!" Hidan asks, unfazed by his mother's disheveled state.

"I'm about to give _birth_! Go get help you useless brat!"

"_Fine,_" He huffs and rushes past her, "but I'm not happy about it!"

**xxx**

"Wow… He's ugly."

Those aren't the words I wanted to hear upon waking up again, but I guess once you get pelted by a ton of bullets― your looks take a hit.

I open my eyes to take a look at my surroundings and the overall damage. I'm surprised that I can't feel a cuff attached to my hand… or anything else really. All I feel is the brisk and stuffy air that means _summer_― and the itchy, wool blanket that's wrapped around my… naked.. body?

My vision is unfocused, not helping to answer the million questions in my head. I can only make out two people in the room, but I know there's at least one other person because they're.. holding.. me?

More questions, and still no answers. Except, maybe one.

That crazy priest's rantings will finally be useful for once. I remember him and his little cult-like family talking about reincarnation and the like. How such a fate could be more painful than hell, or more special than heaven.

If I had to guess, this is supposed to be a punishment. I was _far _from a good person in my "previous life" ―as I should probably call it. Unless you consider serial killers to be god's blessing, that is.

"Looks just like you then." The feminine voice comes from the person holding me. I feel her chest vibrate beneath my head as she speaks. Her insult is met with an annoyed '_hey_' but she ignores it pointedly as she redirects her attention to the other figure in the room. "What's the damage, Saeko? How long before I can go back to the brothel?"

_'Saeko is a Japanese name as far as I know, and now that I think about it… They've been speaking in that language and I completely understand it.'_

While that is cool, I try to recall my previous language: English.

_'What's the word for red, or apple, or death, or __**I am completely fucked**__.'_

I can't remember a single word. Very disheartening, but my positive side has me agreeing that i's for the best. Having two languages in my brain would probably result in me occasionally and unknowingly switching between the two when I talk.

_'And __**brothel**_…_? So my mother is one of those tools, huh. Ironic.'_

Prostitutes were a high kill count for me. I didn't care about their profession, so much as the fact they would throw themselves at me. It's their job to lure in customers, but to approach a clearly underage boy? I was doing the world a favor by eliminating those pedophile trash bags.

At fifteen, life on the streets was hard, but people like that only made it _harder _and urged my blood lust to grow. By the time I was of legal age, I was rarely approached by their ilk anymore. Word must have gone around that I was an "unlucky charm" because every woman that approached me, seemed to disappear a few days later. _Odd_, really.

This _Saeko_ person brings me back to my new reality, speaking to my _mother _in a clipped tone. "You disgust me, Maemi. You just gave _birth_—" She stops, seeming to decide that yelling at a stubborn mule wasn't going to get her anywhere. Sighing, she continues, "Six weeks for your body to adjust and return to normal."

Maemi clicks her tongue and I can _feel _her eyes burning a hole through my body. "You damn brats ruin everything."

The young voice I heard before is quick to throw a fuss at her remark, "Shut up, whore!"

_Smack._

"Don't you dare call me that, bastard!"

"You're the one who keeps getting knocked up—"

"I think it's time for me to take my leave," comes the tired voice of Saeko. I almost want to reach out for her and cry until she takes me with her. These people are _damn _noisy. "Maemi, you better take care of them. I know you hate kids, but you made your bed a long time ago; it's about time you lie in it."

With that, the older woman is gone and I'm left alone with my… new family? I guess.

"_Finally_, that nag is gone!" Maemi falls back roughly in her bed, jostling me. I unconsciously sob in protest, reminding her of my presence, "Oh yeah, this thing still exists." Without even taking a second to think about it, the woman shoves me into who I assume is my new sibling's arms. "Hidan, take care of your _brother_."

"What the—!?" Hidan exclaims as he struggles to get ahold of me. "Bitch, you can't—" He tries to protest, but our _mother _has already rolled over and fallen asleep. Hidan grumbles, glaring at the figure before finally moving to a different part of the house. I assume it's his room, as he seems to be sitting on a bed.

I can blearily see his face gazing down at me as he holds me in his lap. I'm unsure of his facial expression, but his voice doesn't sound hostile for _once_, so I assume he's not thinking about killing me.

"I guess you're my problem now."

'_Great. My life is in the hands of a five-year-old.'_

* * *

For a long time, I wasn't able to see things clearly. It was a hindrance more than anything, as I was already bored out of my mind just being a _baby_, but I couldn't even take in my surroundings in the meantime.

Due to this, the world I was born into remained a mystery. It seemed old fashioned, but with a touch of modern-ness here and there. All these theories were going from what I could _hear _and feel from my surroundings (the buzzing of a fridge, and yet we still sleep on these itchy grass-filled pallets).

So, for a few months, I was without sight and could only rely on sound. A part of me hoped this would help my hearing for the better, but that was also on the level of an infants'. In short, being a baby was pure hell and a huge waste of my time.

I thought I would be able to get ahead in life since my previous memories were intact, but my physical body betrays me, forcing me to suffer in… Well, not silence. I cry whenever I can, mainly to just gain someone's attention due to boredom, but also because I know my _mother _hates it when I cry.

Sometimes, tormenting her has its disadvantages, though…

"Shut _up_!" Maemi stomps into the room that Hidan and I share. "I'm trying to _sleep_ you stupid rat!"

Unfortunately, my brother isn't here to protect me from the harsh smack Maemi delivers to my helpless form. My crying only worsens, much to the woman's dismay. She prepares to hit me again, a growl in her throat—

"What the _fuck_!?" Hidan yells, running into the room and throwing the bags in his hands at Maemi. She flinches back in surprise, giving Hidan enough time to capture me in his arms. "I know he can be annoyin'... But you can't hit him!"

My crying slowly dies down as my brother cradles me, facing off our demon of a mother. Meanwhile, my eyes meet Maemi's brown ones, and if a baby could smirk— you know I would be doing that right now.

The gray-haired woman spits at us, marching out of our room and returning to her own while muttering "_damn brats_" beneath her breath.

Hidan sniffs, and I look up to see tears in his eyes as he stares at the spot where our mother had once been. He sits down on our bed, holding me tighter. "I hate her so much… That stupid bitch, I hate her…"

All I can do is let him hold me, my tiny body preventing me from doing much more than gurgle my agreement.

* * *

A year goes by in this new world, and I turn one without too much fanfare.

Hidan, now six, is the one who's practically been raising me. He's only a child, so I don't expect much. If it wasn't for my developed brain, I'd probably be dead— Hidan tends to forget I need things like _baths_, and food.

Our mother had _tried _to take care of me, but after I threw a tantrum whenever she attempted to touch me, she eventually gave up. It's not my fault that she genuinely _disgusts _me. Being touched by her (just the _thought_) made me want to puke. Maemi's beatings never stopped, but they weren't frequent due to Hidan keeping me by his side whenever he could. The kid was definitely starting to grow on me, which said something, as children usually irritate the shit out of me.

Hidan teaches me many things, but I'm the one to teach _him _how to talk. Being six, he already knows most of the language, but only as much as a typical child. Since I miraculously know Japanese, I am Hidan's only hope if he wants to expand his vocabulary beyond swear words.

When Hidan isn't home, I assume he's at school. If this world even has those… All I know for sure is that he leaves early in the mornings, only to come back in the afternoons. As soon as he walks through the door (he says it every time; even though no one ever replies) he says, "I'm back from the Academy."

Either way, he's gone, and I'm left alone with Maemi— who thankfully sleeps most of the day, due to working generally at night.

It's not until I'm _two_, that I start to speak in front of other people. Before then, I only spoke to Hidan. I knew it'd be weird for a one-year-old to speak fluent Japanese (albeit in a baby voice), but Hidan was young enough to not question it.

Life goes on, but of course it's anything but _ordinary _or peaceful. Something always seems to happen every day, and today was no exception.

"Okaa-san is fat again," Hidan randomly whispers to me.

We're in our shared room, looking through the only book we own: a picture book that is more or less falling apart, but for now it is our only form of entertainment. I have yet to leave our house, being more or less "grounded" by Maemi, who said she doesn't want me running around until she knows I won't cause any trouble with the neighbors.

"Fat…" I repeat, looking at the gray-haired boy as if he's stupid.

Hidan's purple eyes narrow, seeing the look for what it is. "_Yeah_, she's fat again!"

"You mean pregnant."

I had noticed the gray-haired woman's growing stomach several months ago, but now it is _really _noticeable. Of course, considering my past in medicine, I was also able to pick up on the symptoms she was showing: vomiting, moodiness, bloating… The big sign was when I heard Maemi in the bathroom one night; "_Fuck, I better not be pregnant again._"

My brother gives me a look of disgust, "_No_, not another one!"

I sigh, also feeling a bit hopeless, "Yeah…"

"I told her ta stop this shit! She don't even want us, so why does she— Why does she keep doin' this!?" Hidan is beginning to get so frustrated that tears are building up in his eyes.

I watch with somber eyes before wordlessly opening my arms. Hidan wastes no time, grabbing onto my body and squeezing the life out of me.

Coughing, I squirm in Hidan's hold until he finally loosens it a little. Burrowing into my neck, he sniffs. "I'm glad she had you though, Kaoru. You're the best brother ever! I- I'd probably go crazy if I was stuck with that bitch forever, all by myself…"

'_Honestly, you'd probably be dead._'

I cling back to Hidan, resting against the bed and closing my olive green eyes; his rants usually end with him falling asleep, and I am nowhere near strong enough to roll the seven-year-old off of me.

"No matter what," I say quietly, trying to find words that might comfort the kid. "We'll love the baby anyway. It's not their fault."

Hidan nods, but says nothing else.

**xxx**

Maemi's pregnancy goes into the next year, bypassing Hidan's eighth birthday. I'm the only one to remember it, handing over a poorly drawn picture of both him and I smiling while we hold hands.

The boy loves it, sniffing harshly with a frown on his face and trembling lips before he pulls me into a hug. Hidan cries a lot, but I'm not surprised. He's an emotional kid, more so than most kids his age.

"Let me show you what we learned today!" Hidan says one day, excited (for once) about his day at the Academy. Usually he comes home in a bad mood, ranting about a fight he got in or how stupid a classmate was. It isn't the first time he has taught me something, but each time the little lessons leave me more confused.

Hidan would show me the books they were given about ninjutsu (magical spells, essentially), taijutsu (some form of martial arts), kunai and _shuriken _(they're learning weapon-handling, what the _fuck_), and the thing that leaves me the most dumbfounded… chakra.

Chakra is apparently something everyone has in this world. It is as natural as blood in our veins, or the oxygen that we breath. Still doesn't mean I took to it well at first. I was very sceptical and non-believing, even after Hidan showed me his book as proof.

I had asked, "_Why can't I feel it then?_"

Hidan had looked puzzled before declaring, "_Because you haven't activated it yet! You're still a baby, dumbass!_"

After calling me a dumbass, Hidan explained the chakra pathways to me some more, and had deduced that since I hadn't even _tried _to touch my chakra, that it was dormant inside my body until I decided to train with it. Of course, Hidan's explanation contained fewer big words and odd analogies, but I got the point he was making.

"What'd you learn?" I ask, turning my attention away my drawing. It is of Maemi's blood-soaked corpse, while Hidan and I hold hands off to the side with shark-toothed grins on our faces. I'm sure the gray-haired woman will _love _to find this on her pillow when she gets home.

"Chakra exercises!" Hidan practically screams, yanking out a crumpled paper from his school bag. "Sensei has just been yappin' about chakra, but now we actually get to _do _somethin' with it!"

I gingerly take the paper from his hands, and though I can't read some of the words, I understand the basic gist… Oh, and the picture demonstrations help. The list is, essentially, a guide to a few basic chakra exercises. On the top, in bold print, it reads: **USE WITH QUALIFIED SUPERVISION**.

I raise an eyebrow, and show the words to Hidan. "You gonna get Maemi to help?"

"Who?" I frown, gesturing to Maemi's room, "Oh, Okaa-san? No fucking way! She wouldn't help anyway, the dumb bitch. Plus, she's not even a ninja— she's not quwafled or whatever."

"Qualified," I correct "What do you mean, she's not a ninja…? Why does that matter?"

"Kaoru, you're sounding really fucking dumb, right now."

Getting a little irritated, I glare. "_Tell me_."

With a roll of his eyes, Hidan begins to explain everything to me. He acts like all of this information is _obvious_, but the idiot must have forgotten that I haven't left this house in the two years that I've been here. Of course I have no idea what the world outside it is like, and no one has bothered to educate me in it either!

"...and the highest level is the Kage— they're the ones that lead the village. We don't have one though, since we're not one of the _Great Shinobi _Whatevers. So we just have a head ninja..." Hidan finishes his lesson with a heavy sigh. "That all? Any questions?"

I slowly shake my head, half my mind still reeling at the information he has given me.

Apparently, this world is inhabited by magic-wielding ninja warriors. Not the cliche ninjas that creep around in a black wardrobe, but sneakier ones who could decapitate you with a _water _spell. I don't know whether to be _scared _at the thought of powerful opponents lurking around every corner, or _excited _at the prospect of becoming one of those _powerful _people.

The choice is easy in the end.

"Hey, nii-san…" I say, adding on the honorific to butter Hidan up, "Can you teach me ninja stuff, too?"

Hidan beams, nodding his head rapidly. "Fuck yeah, otōto!" He then jumps up and runs to our room, only to come back a few seconds later with a bunch of supplies in his arms. "First, let's start with somethin' easy. You're so fuckin' tiny..."

I smile the whole time, listening intently to Hidan as he shows me all the things he has learned at the Academy so far.

After a couple weeks of lessons, I have a basic understanding of how chakra works, as well as the explanation of the "basic three jutsu" students have to master if they want to graduate. Other than that, Hidan also shows me some stretches to help develop my flexibility. Soon, he says that he'll teach me actual katas. When I asked about _weapons_, Hidan was quick to say no.

"_You're just a baby; you could get hurt or somethin'! Leave that stuff to me, got it?" _He had practically lectured. It seems he is taking his role as a big brother _extremely _seriously. His protectiveness is smothering, but useful all the same. I am too weak to defend myself right now, so I need someone to do that for me. Hidan is that person.

Another event that takes place two weeks later, is the birth of Hidan and I's new sibling.

* * *

"Get Saeko! _Fuck, _get Saeko!" Maemi's voice screams from her bedroom, startling Hidan and I from our lesson.

"_Shit_!" Hidan says, running out the front door without even seeing _why _we need to get this "Saeko" person. I watch Hidan leave, then slowly walk to Maemi's room to see what the problem is. The moment the woman sees my head peer in, however, a pillow is thrown at my face.

Not having honed reflexes, it hits her target and I fall backwards from the force.

"Get the fuck out, brat! Get Saeko— I'm fucking— I'm fucking giving _birth_!"

Finding her yells annoying, and more than a little pissed that she nailed me with a pillow, I shut her bedroom door and return to my original spot in the living room.

As soon as I sit down, the front door is pushed open violently. A woman runs into the house, running straight towards Maemi's bedroom.

'_Must be Saeko.'_ I look back to the entrance as Hidan walks in. He's panting, leaning over with hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

"She's giving birth," I supply.

"I know…" Hidan sighs heavily as he sits down beside me. "This happened when you were born, too. Not exactly, but Okaa-san was loud as _fuck_ and told me to get help. Saeko is the only civilian doctor that will help people like Okaa-san. Everyone else says she's too disgusting to save."

I want to refute his statement to maybe make him feel better, but Maemi is truly a disgusting person. Not because of her profession, like everyone else in the village probably judges her for, but simply because she _abuses _children. Her own children. So, I decide to stay silent.

A few hours later, Saeko finally slips out of Maemi's bedroom. Hidan is the first to jump up, rushing forward to try and enter the room. Saeko catches him and pushes him back, quickly shutting the door behind her.

"What's your deal, lady!?" Hidan fusses, glaring up at the woman.

I stand up, silently observing Saeko before making my way over to them. She looks tired and sweaty. Blood is all over her clothes and hands. When she grabbed Hidan, some of it got on him as well, but it doesn't look like he has noticed.

That's a little worrying, but aren't all births a little messy? The most startling thing isn't even all the blood. It's the noise, or lack of thereof.

It is… silent.

No wailing screams of a newborn, or grouchy remarks from Maemi.

There's nothing. Nothing but the sound of Hidan screaming at Saeko to let him _in_ Maemi's room— to let him _see _her and his new sibling.

Saeko won't let him though, her expression full of pity as she tries to calm him down. "Hidan, please— You need to _listen_ to me."

"_No_, what the hell! J-Just let me _in—_"

_Smack!_

"_Listen to me!_" Saeko yells, her voice no longer calm. Hidan watches her, eyes wide in shock. His left cheek is a deep red from where the woman smacked it, but Hidan is in such a daze it doesn't even look like he can feel the pain.

"W-What's wrong…?" Hidan asks, sounding so _quiet. _Hidan _never _sounds quiet.

I grip his hand, but he doesn't hold mine back. He isn't paying attention to anything aside from the wrecked woman in front of him.

With a weary sigh, Saeko kneels down so that she's level with us. She places a hand on our shoulders before pulling us into a hug. I want to squirm out of her grasp, but don't move for Hidan's sake.

"Hidan, Kaoru…" Saeko whispers, "Your imōto wasn't alive when she came out... She was a stillborn— She died."

Hidan looks confused, as if he can't believe what he is hearing. He shakes his head, trying to push Saeko away, but she only holds onto him tighter. "I- I don't want to hear this shit!"

The doctor continues, "And your okaa-san… She didn't make it either. I'm— I'm so sorry boys, I did all I could."

"This is stupid!" Hidan finally breaks free from Saeko's hold. "Get off of me, stupid bitch!"

"Hidan!"

Before she can stop him, Hidan tears open the door to Maemi's room. Saeko quickly goes after him, leaving me to follow behind them once again.

Inside the bedroom, Maemi's still body is on her bed, covered up to the neck by the sheets. Beside her is a bundle of cloth, which I assume holds the stillborn child. The bodies don't deter me— I've seen quite a few, after all. If anything bothered me, it's the fact that Hidan is cuddled up beside Maemi's corpse, crying into her neck.

"Wake up! Stupid! Dumbass! Ugly! Whore!" The gray-haired boy wails, "Fucking— Fucking wake up!"

Saeko looked at Hidan —at his tear-stricken face— and she felt pity. Saeko looked at me —my expression hard as stone— and she felt fear.

* * *

It feels a little like déjà vu when Saeko refuses to take us in, instead dropping us off at the only orphanage in the village. As we make the trip to get there, it's increasingly obvious to me that Hidan and I had lived in the more rundown part of the village. The location of the orphanage is much nicer, but not anything too _high-class_.

Hidan is silent, even when Saeko apologies and hugs him one last time. She gives me a wary glance but makes no move to touch me before leaving completely.

When she leaves, the caretakers come forward and herd Hidan and I inside. Everything is going smoothly —the women are coddling us, whispering how unfortunate we are to themselves— until they decide to separate us.

One of the ladies picks me up and cradles me in her arms, but Hidan has a hold on my hand and refuses to let go. At first, the caretakers find it endearing and coo at us.

"Oh sweetie, we know you don't want to leave your brother right now, but the younger children stay in a different section than the one you'll be staying in. Don't worry, you'll see your brother after you both get settled in."

They gently try to remove his hand, but as soon as they touch him, Hidan _snaps_. With a yell of anger, Hidan punches one of the women in the face. She cries out in surprise, tripping over her feet and falling onto her ass. I can see blood falling into her hand. I try to hold back a snort— Hidan broke her nose.

"Oh my gosh!" The woman holding me exclaims, quickly trying to distance herself from Hidan while he faces off the other two caretakers. She holds onto me protectively, but I know Hidan would never do anything to intentionally harm me. The poor lady should be worrying about herself.

In fact… I know that if this escalates any further, Hidan won't stop at just breaking their noses. If he doesn't get his way soon, things are going to get a lot more violent.

With that in mind, I bite down harshly on the hand that the caretaker is using to shield my face from Hidan's freak show. She screams in surprise, dropping me on reflex. I hit the wooden floor with a yelp, immediately catching Hidan's attention.

"Kaoru!" Hidan races to my side, growling at the caretaker that dropped me. The woman squeaks, quickly jumping back as she holds her now bleeding hand to her chest. The boy holds me close to his chest, practically pulling me onto his lap.

Eventually the caretakers decide to leave, finally figuring out it'll be safer to just let us (mainly Hidan) calm down. I watch them leave over Hidan's shoulder, tuning in to their conversation as they whisper to each other, and block everything else out.

"_They're evil_," the one with a broken nose says shakily. "_I don't want to be near them!_"

"_They're tainted— Something is definitely wrong with them. Especially the older one,_" the caretaker who made it out relatively fine says, glancing back at Hidan with a nervous expression.

The last one —the one I had bitten— nods, "_Like a feral animal. The tiny one was probably just reacting to his brother's emotions… But it still worries me."_

"_All we can do now is let them calm down, then we'll figure out what to do from there._ _Now, let's go get your wounds patched up_."

When they finally step out of hearing range, I focus back on Hidan. He's still holding onto me protectively, his grip unrelenting. Before he had been quiet, but now he's whispering reassurances in my ear.

"Damn it— It's gonna be okay, alright? I'm gonna take care of you. I've always taken care of you, but now I'm gonna be even better at it! I'll get stronger, and- and I'll graduate early from the Academy so I can take missions and make tons of money!" When he starts to sniffle, I realize that he had been crying this entire time. "And, you know, once I graduate the Academy— I'll get an apartment from the head ninja! H-He gives one to all orphaned genin, so we'll be fine!"

At this point, I'm not sure if Hidan is trying to convince _me _that everything's going to be okay, or if he's trying to convince _himself_.

"What about now?" I ask, pulling away so I can look back up at him. "Can't we just get an apartment now, since you're training in the Academy?"

Hidan shakes his head with a frown. "The head ninja doesn't give apartments to Academy students just in case they decide to drop out. It fucking _sucks _because I don't want to stay in this dingy orphanage. I mean, shitty Konoha even gives apartments to orphaned Academy students! I know 'cause Sensei told us! It's not fair…"

"It's okay." I pat his head. "We just have to be patient."

"Yeah…" Hidan preens under my touch, relaxing against my hand. A part of me is happy to see him like this, and a small _smile _crosses my face. The feeling of affection is startling— I haven't felt like this for someone in a long time, and the person I had cared about is long gone now; abandoned to my past life.

Perhaps I can let myself care for someone again… Just this once.

* * *

**author's note: **so the long awaited rewrite of "guarded" is finally here! you will learn more about griffyth/kaoru's past and how he got reborn throughout the story. quick fact: griffyth means "a murderer" in scottish.

**this chapter was edited by the lovely **fortheloveofb**!**

**story rec: **"bone of contention" by _tsume yuki_


	2. robbed daylight

_ii._

**chapter two - **_robbed daylight  
__:-:-: _theme; _used to the darkness _by _des rocs :-:-:_

* * *

Griffyth had been under the impression that life outside of any authority's control would be a _luxury_.

Perhaps it could have been, had he been prepared for what being a _runaway_ entailed. His sheltered upbringing was enough to make him ignorant to the hard truths out there, but not enough to have kept him from becoming an infamous serial killer.

He was miles away from where he started, and in a new quaint city. No matter where he went, however, he would always be homeless. That was just his life now, and that fact became clearer and clearer every time he had to spend the money he had stolen from the church.

It was all the money he had, and, admittedly, it wasn't much when put up against the prices inside city stores. Perhaps he would have been able to save more if he had traveled to a small town, but small towns mean a _small _and nosy populace.

No, he wanted a big city where there would always be too many people to keep track of. Someplace he could blend right in… A place where someone could go missing each night, and no one would even realize that something was amiss.

Crimes were the usual in cities, after all. Small towns, not so much, but when they _did _happen it was a big deal and Griffyth wasn't ready to venture into that territory yet.

When Griffyth finally ran out of money, it was time for him to face the music. He had luckily managed to buy some basic supplies that he could live off of (a sleeping bag, blankets, etc) before he went broke, and he also had the things he packed with him when he ranway.

Still, those things wouldn't last forever, and food remained a major issue.

At first, Griffyth got by with stealing from other homeless people. They would always leave their stuff behind in their makeshift "home" whenever they went off to beg people for money and the like. It was the perfect time for him to pick through their things and take what he so desired. Afterwards, Griffyth would continue on, acting as if he had just been passing through.

Learning from his own methods, Griffyth never left his things behind. He carried them within his backpack, which sorely limited the amount of things he could own at a time, but at least they were safe from people who had the same idea as him.

Not only did he always have his stuff on him, but Griffyth would move around the city constantly, settling down in a new area after he stole from someone a few too many times. Just as it looked like they were suspicious of their not-so-friendly homeless teen, Griffyth would move out.

Sometimes, he wasn't fast enough in picking up their behavior. Griffyth would have to deal with a crazy and _mad _homeless person. They would confront him— try to hurt him even.

Unsurprisingly, Griffyth did what he did best: he killed the poor blokes, robbed them of any valuables, and then dumped their bodies inside the closest dumpster. The downside of that would always be that he'd have to move to a different city before the body was found and the police decided to do an investigation.

Since it was a homeless person that was killed, he doubted that the homicide would take priority, but wasn't going to take any chances.

By the time he was seventeen, the teen was practically a pro at his methods. He was much stealthier after years of stealing, and he even learned how to pickpocket— a risky endeavor, but a fruitful one more often than not.

Not only that, but other than homeless people— Griffyth had managed to add pedophiles, prostitutes, and unlucky drunkards to his list of frequent victims. People were already seeing a pattern, and news about the multiple murders of people that fit those categories spread quickly.

Griffyth couldn't be more proud of his progress.

* * *

Eventually, Hidan and I are sorted out. Only two of the three caretakers return to help us get situated; the one who got away unscathed, and the one who I bit. The last one is either too afraid to approach us again, or has something more important to do.

As I would soon figure out, she had been preparing a room for Hidan and I to share.

Now, the woman who I bit says (I'm going to just refer to her as 'One'), "You two will be sharing this room together— since you can't stand to be apart right now." She seems to have lost all of her kind and gentle nature from before. She's strict and _serious_ this time around.

The one with a broken nose ('Two') leaves the room, but re-enters a second later with the injury-free caretaker ('Three'). The two women have taken it upon themselves to carry Hidan and I's luggage for us, which admittedly isn't much.

One snaps her fingers, regaining my attention. Hidan is only giving her half of his— the other half is taking in our new bedroom. "As I was saying, you're in the section that fits Hidan's age group— So, there won't be any other toddlers walking around. If you want to play with someone your age, Kaoru, just follow the signs posted in the hall or ask an available caretaker to guide you there."

I want to snort, because I'd sooner die again than initiate a playdate with some snotty toddlers.

Three clears her throat, setting down the bags in her hand and moving to stand beside One so she can _lecture _us as well. "Your attitude and conduct earlier will _not _be tolerated here. We will let you off with a warning this time, giving the events that led you here—" Hidan's jaw clenches, "—But, if it happens again... Consider yourselves homeless."

With that, Three turns on her heel and leaves the room. Two watches her go, looking more and more anxious the longer she has to stay in our presence. Finally, One seems to take pity on her:

"Just go; I'll take it from here. Put the bags down on the other bed."

Two doesn't have to be told twice, and is soon stumbling out of the door. Hidan snickers beneath his breath, watching the woman go with a harsh smile. His reaction makes me want to smile, too.

"Unpack your bags— I'll be back in an hour to escort you to the dining room for lunch."

One left; Hidan and I are finally alone.

**xxx**

There are two beds in the room, but old habits die hard and we end up sharing one. Hidan is still in a depressed state, and hasn't let me stray far from his side all day.

Even when we go to eat lunch, Hidan is holding onto my hand the entire time. It's annoying trying to eat my food— mainly because I'm left-handed, and he's holding _that _hand.

Looks like I will have to add "become ambidextrous " to my "to do" list. It will be right there beneath "gain superb chakra control".

That night, while we're in bed, Hidan remains awake for a long time. He just lays there, staring up at the ceiling. I watch him, wondering _how can he grieve over such a terrible person?_

Maybe Maemi was kind before I was born? I have no idea why Hidan is so bothered by her passing; their interactions were enough to convince me that he hated her. He would always complain about her, and she was always the reason for his tears.

So, _why? _Why is Hidan suffering so much? Is it because she was his mother, no matter how poorly she treated him in the end? Does this really all boil down to some _blood _relations?

Either way, I know I will never be able to understand the love of a parent— or the loss of one, at that. The closest I came to a father figure was a grumpy old war veteran, but, even then, I don't think I would have loved him enough to _miss _him.

I guess I will never know now, considering I died before _him_. Just the thought of it makes me roll my eyes.

'_Damn bastard literally gets in trouble everyday, and __**I'm **__the one that kicks it first? While I'm still fresh and __**young**__, at that? Fucking ridiculous._'

"Kaoru…"

Hidan's quiet murmur brings me out of my thoughts. I turn my head to look at him. "Yeah?"

"What do you think happens when you die?"

"Um, I don't know. Depends, I guess…" The question certainly catches me off guard, that's for sure.

"Depends on what?" Hidan shifts so he's lying on his side and facing me.

I shrug. "On if you've done more good than bad."

Hidan bites his lip. "So… If you do good, something good happens? And if you do bad…" He trails off, but I shrug all the same.

"Yeah, I guess."

"_Fuck_!" He whines, burying his face in his pillow. My eyes widen at the sudden exclamation.

"Fuck?"

"Don't say bad words—" I raise my eyebrow at the hypocrisy "—I-If what ya said is true then, O-Okaa-san is definitely not getting anything good."

I seriously can't help myself; I snort.

"What's so funny!?" Hidan says, immediately on the defensive.

"I just think you're right." I give him a small smile. "You're so right, it's _funny_. Maemi— She wasn't good at all."

It's silent for a while, and I assume Hidan finally falls asleep, but then I hear sniffling and quickly snap my head to the side to look at Hidan. He's crying again, but into his pillow this time.

Just like before, I'm at a loss for what to do. I don't _comfort _people; I _kill _them.

I feel useless and extremely awkward as I do nothing but stare at the child beside me.

"I-I don't get it," Hidan finally stutters "I don't know why I'm cryin'. She-She was such a _bitch_, and I _miss _her anyways. 'S fucking dumb, otōto."

I continue to stare at him, my eyebrows furrowed now as I feel a _strange _pain in my chest. Is this the rumored empathy I've heard so much about? Because it sucks like a bitch, and I can live without it. I seemed to be doing perfectly fine before; sans the whole dying part.

Taking a ragged breath, Hidan stares into my olive green eyes and says with _such _conviction— "You can't ever die, Kaoru. I mean it, okay? Ya can't ever l-leave me, got it?"

I slowly nod, a frown on my face now and I'm starting to realize crying must be contagious, because my face feels strangely wet for some reason.

Hidan pulls me into his chest and cries into my mess of gray hair for the rest of the night.

* * *

Hidan and I fit into the orphanage like a bull in a china shop.

It's obvious to us that we're not exactly wanted here. The caretakers only interact with us when they have to, and it seems they told the other children _something_— I just don't know what.

It's enough to get the kids to treat us like crap, that is, when they aren't ignoring us completely.

Their taunts range from calling Hidan and I bastards, to calling our deceased mother a whore. They're not _wrong _on either accounts, but it's still something rather rude and hurtful to be telling people, especially if they're kids.

I'm not bothered by the insults, rather I'm _annoyed _to be treated this way by lowly little brats of all people. I'm _better _than them, and would prove it if it I wasn't above beating the crap out of children.

Hidan, of course, doesn't take these insults lightly. He gets _angry _and takes them personally. He's furious to have his mother be called such a thing— mad that his little brother is being subjected to this bullying. If I didn't lead him away fast enough, those kids would have been left bloodied and bruised.

It's a little annoying that I have to constantly keep watch on Hidan and his temper. Just calling him hot-headed is an understatement… The boy gets mad over every little thing, even if it has nothing to do with him. It probably has to do with his grieving process, but even so, it's hard to deal with.

We only manage to stay in the orphanage for a month before Hidan finally flies off the handle.

It happens when Hidan is at the Academy, and I'm stuck by myself at the orphanage. At first, I was in our room and training with my chakra. So far, I can't do much but hold a pencil to my skin. It's frustrating to be making _slow _progress, but I remind myself that if I could wait five years to kill _one _man, I can wait even longer if it means mastering my skills to be able to kill _thousands_ without fearing the more powerful authorities.

After I feel like I'm just burning myself out, I decide to go and relax in the orphanage's backyard. It was usually full of kids playing _ninja_, but it's late in the afternoon and most of the children are either napping or at the Academy. The civilian school classes have already ended, so the ones that don't attend the ninja school are preoccupied with homework.

In other words, it's the ideal time to go outside.

On the way there, I pass by the restroom that's designated to the older male children. I roll my eyes when I hear a bunch of noise, followed by laughing and giggles. Who knows what those idiots are doing in there— probably making a mess.

A second later, one of the kids run out of the bathroom, only to run into _me_. I fall to the floor at the impact, cursing my tiny frame. The boy only stumbles back a bit, and it's mostly due to surprise instead of the strength of my body.

"Sorry—" he begins to apologize, but thinks better of it when he sees who he ran into. "_Hey_, stupid, you shouldn't be around here. Your kind is outside on the _streets_." He laughs at his comment, as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

I curse at my luck, but begin to pull myself back up. I don't make much progress before the kid kicks me back down, calling for his _buddies_ to come gawk at his find.

"That's the whore's kid," one points out, looking at me in distaste.

'_These kids probably don't even know what __**whore **__means.'_

"Kaoru, right?" Another asks with an unnerving grin. "You tryin' to use the bathroom or somethin'?"

"Fuck off," I spit, once again trying to stand up.

"No," the one with a grin says, pushing me back down with a hard poke. "_I _think you need some help." He looks to the other boys, channeling a silent conversation, and a moment later they're gripping my arms and leading me into the bathroom. I try to get out of their hold, but my strength is definitely no match for theirs.

"Yeah," the boy I originally ran into says, "You're so _dirty—_"

"—So we'll help clean you up!" The last boy says, and I have no time to react before I'm being thrown into a bathtub.

I gasp as I hit the cold water, and I feel objects pressing into my back. One of them slips out from under my body and I see that the boys had been fooling around with some bath toys before they stumbled upon me.

"Great start, but you still look dirty to me!"

'_From bath toys to actual human beings, how do you escalate so quickly from—'_

My thoughts are halted when the boys suddenly push me beneath the freezing water. I instinctively close my mouth and _try _to hold my breath. My hands claw at their arms, but my tiny nails do nothing more than swat at them. If the caretakers hadn't trimmed them a few days ago, maybe they would've done more damage.

The boys pull me back up and I instantly take in a deep breath— almost as quickly, I'm pushed underneath the water again. I continue to struggle, but my limbs feel heavier than before.

I recognize this feeling— I've experienced it before.

My vision is fading around the edges, like a vignette in a photograph. I can hear the boys _laughing _and I wonder if they're aware of what they're doing. Do they _know _they're drowning me, or are they innocently unaware?

I distantly hear the bathroom door being thrown open, along with a screaming voice that belongs to no one else but Hidan— my brother.

"_What the fuck—!?"_

The hands holding me down disappear in an instant, and then I'm in Hidan's arms? I'm panting harshly, trying to regain my breath as I weakly try to keep my eyes open. My body feels boneless and _cold_.

Hidan sets me down, only to confront the three boys that he had pushed away. They look pretty stunned, and I can tell by the dent in the wall that Hidan had used chakra to pick up all _three _of the boys, just to throw them into it.

Blinking rapidly, I finally manage to focus my vision. Time passes by in my daze, and Hidan is on top of one of the boys— beating the shit out of him. The other two are desperately trying to pull Hidan off of their friend, but Hidan pushes them away with a swing of his arm each time.

"E-Excuse me, what is— Oh my god!"

One of the caretakers rush into the bathroom, taking one look at the three boys and instantly trying to pull Hidan off of the one he is repeatedly punching.

"Hidan! Hidan, stop it!" The woman tries to pull him off, but to no avail— he's lost in his anger. The woman grows increasingly panicked the longer it takes for her to stop Hidan, and soon there are two more women rushing into the room to look over the other two boys.

Not one of them glances at my shivering form; I continue to watch Hidan smash the boy's face in with a blank expression.

"_Enough_!" The woman finally snaps, smacking Hidan across the face hard enough to startle him. As soon as he stops, the woman kicks him off of the boy and cradles the bully's bloody form in her arms protectively. "Get out! Get out of this place! Get _out_!"

Soon, Hidan and I are forced on the streets with nothing but the bloody, wet clothes on our backs.

* * *

Hidan and I retreat to an alleyway close by. We sit, huddled together, as we wait for our clothes to dry— and in turn, for our emotions to settle. Hidan is practically frothing at the mouth; he had wanted to turn back right away and burn the orphanage down.

The image of the caretakers being burnt alive was a pleasant one, but I'm not about to kill tons of children for something that isn't their fault (sans the ones that tried to kill me, but that's an entirely different problem).

I calm myself first, slowing my breathing and thinking of _happy _thoughts. The entire ordeal had my heart beating fast, and if I had been a normal child, perhaps it would have been traumatizing. Instead, it really just scared the _fuck _out of me. I can handle a scare, but Hidan…?

Looking over to his shaking form, I can see that his jaw is clenched and his eyes are wide in anger… fear? I can't tell, but I do _know _that he looks ready to attack anyone that provokes him.

Clinging to his arm in an attempt to make him feel more grounded, I look up at him through my messy bangs. "We'll go back later—" I clear my throat, resisting the urge to cough. "I'll sneak in and grab our stuff."

Hidan snatches his arm away, choosing to wrap them around his knees instead. He sniffs, a snarl on his lip as he says, "We shouldn't _have _to sneak in— We shouldn't even be out here!" The more he talks the angrier he gets. "It was those punks' fault! They were— They were trying to _kill _you, otōto!"

Hidan screams in frustration before burying his face into his knees. When he looks up again, angry tears are rolling down his face. "Why i-is this happening to us? First _Okaa-san_, then—" He stops so he can yell again, definitely earning us some looks from the civilians that pass by the alleyway.

"I know, I know…" I say with a frown. "But there isn't anything we can do to change what's happened. Let's just figure out where to go from here— First, we get our stuff."

Rubbing at his face, Hidan nods. "Fine."

"Good." I give him a tentative grin.

**xxx**

We return as the sun begins to set, using what little light we have left to sneak towards the backyard. My plan was to scale the fence surrounding the lawn, and then go in through the back door— which was always unlocked for some ungodly reason.

However, I hadn't accounted for people being in the backyard. Usually at this time, the patrons are directing the children to bathe and prepare for dinner.

Instead, there are a bunch of children and several caretakers outside. They're standing around a makeshift bonfire and tossing..._items _into it? I can't see it clearly due to the crowd, but when they suddenly part and reveal what they're burning— Hidan freezes beside me and my eyes widen.

"That's— Kaoru, that's our shit!" Hidan says in a harsh whisper. "I'm going to kill those motherfu— Mmh!" When Hidan suddenly tries to climb the fence, I quickly pull him off by the back of his shirt and throw my hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. We fall onto the ground with half of Hidan's body on top of me.

"What the fuck, otōto!?" Hidan fusses as he pulls his weight off of me. Instead of helping me up, he simply stands on his own and glares down at me. "Why did you do that!?"

"Be _quiet!_" I hiss, slowly pulling myself up. I wipe off the dirt from the back of my legs and elbows before I glare at the boy in front of me. "Rushing in there isn't going to do anything! We'll just get in more trouble… They'll probably even bring the shinobi into it."

"I..." Hidan sighs heavily, looking back into the backyard. "_Fuck_."

We stare as the children laugh and play around the fire. The caretakers smile at them, passing our items between each other. What the children don't keep for themselves, they simply toss into the growing fire. We didn't have much— the only new things we received at the orphanage were more clothes and books. All of that was nothing but soot now. However…

"Kaoru…." Hidan seems to whimper, and I zero in on what they're burning next. It's the picture book Hidan and I had for _years_— and the drawing I had given Hidan for his eighth birthday. For the first time, I feel personally affected by all this and yet, I still feel at a loss for how to react.

My face scrunches up and I bite down _hard _on my lip. Looking to Hidan, the gray-haired boy has already pulled himself away and is breathing heavily. It's obvious to me that he's crying again; I know his tears harbor more than just pain— they're also due to his anger and frustration.

Silently, I grab Hidan's hand and lead him away from the orphanage.

I've lived on the streets before, but back then, I was only taking care of myself. This is either going to be harder or _easier _than my homeless life before, and I'm anxious to see how it will go.

We'll make it through this; I don't know how, but we have each other, and that's more than enough reassurance.

* * *

Later in the night, Hidan and I find ourselves back in the alleyway we had retreated to before. There's a slight breeze in the air, making both of us shiver, despite Hidan's efforts to keep me warm. We're practically wrapped around each other at this point.

"I'll go see the head ninja tomorrow." Hidan finally speaks after hours of silence. "H-He'll definitely have to help us…" The boy sniffs before quickly rubbing at his eyes. "I mean— we're homeless! Even if I'm just an Academy student; he'll definitely have to make an exception!"

I hear a faint sneeze in the alleyway across from us, and look up to see several raggedy-looking children huddled together and picking through a pile of garbage.

I sigh at the sight and glance back at Hidan who is still rambling on about his _hopes_. I stare back at the other homeless children and know there is no hope in sight for us at all.

**xxx**

The night was long and uncomfortable; it's a surprise that I had even been able to fall asleep at all. Years of living on the streets taught me to be paranoid, and made me a light sleeper. I would jolt awake at every sound and twitch in the dark. There's also the fact that I had slept in Hidan's lap― Whether it was to protect me or to use me as a security blanket, he hadn't said. The boy had just pulled me close and called it a day.

When morning finally arrives, I'm the first to wake up due to instinct alone. As soon as the sun is in the sky, my whole body jolts awake, ready to attack anyone trying to run off with my things― Only I'm not in that world anymore, and I have nothing for anyone to steal.

Hidan startles awake when I unintentionally jostle him, flinching and nearly tossing me off of his lap.

"Shit!" He slurs, still half-asleep as he tries to keep me from falling. Adrenaline keeps his eyes wide, but I can tell he isn't fully here— I recognize it from my days on the street. The young and newly homeless rats would always react like that; especially the freshly traumatized ones. The naive ones didn't know to react in a panic when they first spent their nights on the streets, but they soon learned that you should always be alert; even if it meant accidentally hitting a bothersome police officer every once in awhile.

"I'm fine," I sigh as I begin to squirm out of Hidan's sluggish grip. I groan as I try to stretch my body— After sleeping in such an uncomfortable position, it feels like my limbs have become permanently contorted. Glancing over at Hidan and the grimace on his face, I know he's also feeling the same discomfort.

"What time is it…?" Hidan asks as he rubs at his eyes.

I shrug. "Early."

My answer prompts another groan from Hidan, who is quick to plop right back down onto the cold, hard ground. "I fuckin' hate mornings…" He continues to whine (something I'm used to by now, seeing as he always bitches and moans whenever he has to get up for the Academy) but stops when his stomach interrupts him with a loud gargle. "Shut the fuck up…" He mumbles to himself.

I roll my eyes with a snort. "Let's go get breakfast."

"_What _now?" Hidan asks, incredulous. "They givin' out free food to fuck-ups like us? Where the hell are we gonna get fuckin' breakfast, Kaoru?"

I blink slowly at his loud and strong reply.

'_If he wasn't awake before, he certainly is now_.'

Finally, after staring Hidan into a twitchy mess, I answer his question. "We're going to steal some food— obviously, _nii-san_."

Hidan's purple eyes widen in shock before narrowing. "What do ya know about fuckin' _stealing_, otōto? Who taught you about that shit!?"

"Can you quiet down?" I say in a harsh whisper, taking note of the annoyed faces of the civilians that pass by the alleyway. I don't need their self-entitled asses to overhear us and go tattle to the nearest ninja… "Nobody did. I just know a thing or two about it; I'll teach you a couple tricks, too."

"Teach _me_? Who taught _you_!?"

"_Hidan_," I warn at his tone. He shuts his mouth, but not before clicking his tongue at me. "Like I said, no one taught me. Now just watch me for now, then we can get you to try it…"

**xxx**

We wonder around until we find the market district where everyone has their stands set up for the day. Vendors are announcing their sales and produce, civilians are browsing the wares, and I spot the occasional shinobi sprinting across the rooftops.

All-in-all, it's a very busy area. _Perfect _for some sleight-of-hand tricks.

"You see that pastry cart?" I ask Hidan, staring pointedly at the said stall. An old man is in charge of it, standing off to the side and facing the potential customers that pass by. "I'm gonna sneak over there and snatch some bread. You keep watch, and if it looks like he's gonna turn around— distract him."

Hidan immediately shakes his head, already skeptical. "Kaoru, I don't think—"

I'm already gone.

"_Fuckin' damn it, Kaoru…_" Hidan grits through his teeth behind me, but I can see him moving closer from the corner of my eye.

I opted to take the long way around to the pastry cart, sticking to the shadows and crouching low beside the other stalls. A nostalgic feeling is already coming over me, and I can't help but smirk to myself at the influx of old memories.

"Get 'em while they're hot!" I hear the old man more clearly as I get closer to the cart. "Fresh outta the oven!" He continues to stand in place near the front corner of the cart, never moving from it. I stay in position for several minutes, waiting to see if his pattern will change.

After he repeats the same mantra five more times, I decide it's safe enough to go for it. All the other stall owners are too busy trying to sell their goods to notice me, and all the civilians are too absorbed in the goods they're about to buy... Even if they were looking out for a starving ruffian, I'm practically slithering across the ground and out of their peripheral.

I sneak up to the back of the cart, sliding past an opening in the tent-like shelter that's providing shade to some of the cooling-pastries. Slowly, I reach out for what I came here for— two freshly baked rolls.

Just as my hand brushes against one—

"_Oi_, what do you think you're doin' over here?"

I freeze, my heart exploding as I snap my head to face the cart owner.

"What? I'm not doin' anything!" I deflate instantly when I see that Hidan is the cart owner's target. "What's the big deal?"

I roll my eyes. '_Hidan, please don't draw attention to yourself…_'

"The big deal is you're scaring away my customers! No one is gonna come over here if a stinky kid is in the way."

'_Oh god, this isn't going to end well._' I quickly grab the rolls and stuff them under my shirt, exiting out the way I came.

"What the fuck is that supposed 'ta mean, you big giant _cock—_"

"Nii-san!" I quickly _stumble _into Hidan, using him to somewhat shield my stuffed shirt. "I found you~!"

Hidan looks at me in confused disgust. "What the hell—"

"Are you ready to go to the park now? You promised we could go!" I hurriedly continue, a big fat fucking _fake _grin on my face. I look at the cart owner with feigned surprise. "Uhh, sorry to interrupt, oji-san."

The old man looks puzzled, but eventually just scratches his head and sighs. "Whatever, both of you just scram. Don't come back 'less you're buyin'!" He then backs away to continue to maintain his cart— and just as he turns, I see the tent flap and the heads of two children escape with a handful of goods in their hands.

'_Shit_. _Guess Hidan will just have to learn another day._'

Before the old man can react to his now-empty table, I take off in a sprint and drag Hidan along with me— ignoring his annoyed protests. I can already hear the outraged cry from the pastry cart owner, and the shocked gasps as the civilians also realize what happened.

"Kaoru, _what even_—?!" Hidan forces us to a stop, so I push him into the nearest alley instead. "What happened back there?"

I shove one of the bread rolls into his chest, with a scoff. "It's called _acting, _Hidan." Sighing, I plop down onto the ground and bite into my own roll. "Plus, those fuckin' kids got us busted. They stole a whole bunch of shit while we were talkin' to that guy. Now, everyone is gonna think _we _stole everything."

"Well," Hidan sits next to me, "At least you got these. Fuckin' starving…" The boy next to me immeidately tears into the bread in his hands not even a second later. "After this, we'll go see the head ninja!"

"Yeah…" I say dully, knowing exactly how the visit is going to turn out.

'_They'll probably kick us out on our asses as soon as we set foot in the building…_'

* * *

As it turns out, we aren't even allowed to step _in _the building.

I expected this outcome as soon as we stepped into the _finer _part of the village. It truly looks like a tourist spot in the making; more civilians than ninja roaming around the bustling streets, the multiple shops and leisure destinations.

The head ninja's office —if that's what it was—looked more akin to a palace. It truly tied the surroundings together, making it almost look like a "dream destination".

I roll my eyes at the thought, '_Wait until they find the ugly beneath all this pretty._'

"Look kid," the shinobi standing guard outside the head ninja's 'Palace' says. "Leader-sama isn't taking visitors right now."

"Wha— This is an _emergency_! J-Just let us in f-for just a _second_—!" Hidan is grasping at straws, and I'm surprised he hasn't starting cursing the man's head off yet. "C'mon, we're fuckin' homeless! Those bitches at the orphanage kicked us out! Y-You have to do _something_!"

"Listen," the man sighs, looking around at the judging stares of the civilians and beginning to feel their heat. "I know this situation sucks, but you know the rules. Leader-sama isn't one for handouts. Work hard to become a genin— Graduate early, if that's what it takes. Just earn your place in the village; _then_ Leader-sama will help you."

Hidan starts shaking, and I can see how the anger, betrayal, and helplessness overtake him. His eyes water and he clenches his fists so _tightly_, I feel like he's going to draw blood.

"Nii-san," I say, placing my hands over his, "Let's… go. Let's take a walk."

Hidan nods, glaring hard at the ground as I lead him away from this place.

* * *

**author's note: **kaoru doesn't _get _emotions fr fr and hidan is actually a crybaby :) also i'm confident that a handful of the guest reviews are from the same person (since they were posted within the same timeframe and say the exact same thing) but i decided to throw a dog a bone and replied to all of them anyway.

this chapter was edited by the AMAZING, **the talented**, _the beautiful…. _fortheloveofb**!**

* * *

**story rec: **"serpent's eye" by _riseha_


	3. fairy tales are not found

_iii._

**chapter three - **_fairy tales are not found_  
_:-:-: _theme; _used to the darkness _by _des rocs :-:-:_

* * *

At eighteen years old, Griffyth had slowly progressed to breaking into people's homes/apartments late at night. It was a new kind of thrill he wanted to experience, and it helped that he'd always leave the house richer than he was before.

Not only that, but it also meant he'd be able to shower and change into a clean pair of clothes (if the owners were his size, that is). Occasionally, Griffyth would stay to sleep in an actual bed, too— and if anyone caught him in the act? Well, they'd be dead within the hour.

Griffyth was more than comfortable with his current lifestyle. Everything was going great for once, and each day seemed to provide more and more opportunities for him to sate both his bloodlust and greed.

Eventually, his crimes caught up with him, though.

One night, right after Griffyth had picked a homeless hangout clean (all the residents were coincidently nowhere to be found), he found himself getting jumped on his walk back to his current hideout. The group of men beat him up, stripping him of everything he had on his person while they were at it.

"That's what ya get, fucker!" Spit one of the men. Griffyth could barely see clearly anymore, but he could have sworn the man was missing several teeth. As a matter of fact, the whole group looked like shit. They all looked like they were _homeless_— That's when Griffyth realized he had walked into their little trap.

'_I guess these nobodies aren't as dumb as I thought…_' He coughs, spitting blood onto the asphalt.

"What now?" One of the men asked, scratching irritably at his unkempt beard.

Another one shrugged, pulling something from his pocket. "No use keepin' him alive. Pieces of shit like him 'll never learn!"

"Fuck…." Griffyth weakly croaks, trying his best to remain conscious. If these pests were going to kill him, he wanted to stare them in the eyes as they did it. He wanted to see if they had the _guts _to take a life.

There is no explanation, however, and Griffyth doesn't remain awake long enough to even see the man approach him with the knife. All he knows is a sharp pinch in his abdomen, and then complete darkness.

* * *

Hidan and I wander around the village, and eventually find ourselves at it's outskirts— where there's more nature than people. We even find a decent sized river; something I've never seen before (not including the ones in pictures or on television). During the majority of my past life, I had lived in a concrete jungle— So, seeing nature untouched like this was really refreshing. It provided a new kind of feeling that I warmly welcomed.

"Whoa…" I said as we got closer to the water. It was making a sound I often only associated with storm drains.

"Oh, that's right— You've never been here before." There's a grin on his face, an expression I haven't seen in awhile due to recent events... It looks kind of odd with his red-rimmed eyes, but I'll take it nonetheless. I prefer Hidan smiling like a manic over crying like a baby any day.

"Does that mean you come here a lot?" I ask, curiously sticking my fingers in the moving water. It's chilly, but not unbearable to touch.

"Yeah," Hidan —truly showcasing his personality— boldly jumps into the shallow part of the river. Water splashes everywhere, including on me. I glare, but it goes unnoticed as the boy continues playing around in the water. "After classes I'd stop by sometimes ta catch fish 'n' stuff…"

I remain silent, thinking back on all the times Hidan would arrive home late with nothing in his hands to show for it. Maemi would always be so _mad_. Not because she was worried, but because he was late due to _goofing off _instead of buying groceries or something. In her impatience for him to arrive home, _I _was often rewarded with the backlash— her verbal and physical abuse, that is.

I didn't blame Hidan, even now. He was just a kid— Not to say I still wasn't annoyed to have had to suffer the consequences of _his _actions.

In a miraculous moment of _tact_, Hidan seemed to understand what my brooding silence meant. Like a guilty dog, Hidan looks down and awkwardly scratched his head before mumbling, "Sorry, otōto."

"I know," I reply with a shrug. It was in the past now, and that dumb whore was dead. Justice has been served, and there's no use lingering on it anymore. When Hidan remains silent, I look back up at him— his expression still as depressing as before. With a sigh and a roll of my eyes, I stand up and face him. "It's okay; whatever happened wasn't your fault."

Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say, as Hidan immediately puffs up, getting upset.

"But it's _not_! I didn't wanna go back home 'cause of _her_. So, I came _here— _a-and left _you _with her instead. E-Even though I _knew _what would happen—" Damn, Hidan is starting to cry again. "I'm- I just- I'd forget about it when I was here. I'd forget about it and would just be havin' fun. Then the sun would start ta set and I'd remember… Sometimes, I was afraid that you wouldn't even be there when I'd get home."

'_This is so annoying and dramatic, and I really don't want to deal with it right now._'

"_Nii-san_," I said with conviction— forcing some kind of empathy or emotion on my face so I didn't appear so apathetic. "Fine— Maybe it's not okay, and maybe you made a mistake and regret your actions… But it's all over with now. We're never going to have to face her ever again— So just…"

'_What do you say in a time like this? I'm not a fucking therapist or whatever. I don't even care.'_

"...So just, look forward instead." I continue, pulling whatever I can out of my ass just to make this brat feel better. "Let's focus on surviving together, 'kay? And… If it means anything to you— If it's somethin' you really need to hear then, I forgive you."

My posture goes slack and I honestly feel drained after delivering such a "heart-warming" speech. Hidan on the other hand, looks to have eaten every word I said up, and is now hiding his face in his hands as he cries. I sigh, and hold out my hand.

"C'mon," I gesture for him to take the appendage. "If you're gonna cry, don't do it in the river. What if you slip and fall or something."

Hidan looks a little dumbstruck for a moment, but eventually starts laughing at my statement. He takes my hand without much protest and allows me to lead him out of the river. We sit by the bank, and remain there— Even when the sun begins to set and the noises of frogs and crickets start to fill the area.

"I don't wanna leave." Hidan sulks, falling back into the grass. He gazes up at the multi-colored sky, admiring the slowly drifting clouds in a daze, along with a few stars that have decided to make an appearance.

His words have me thinking… This area —the outskirts of the village that is— would be an ideal place for us to live. Being homeless once before, I know more than enough about slumming it outdoors. My previous mentor even taught me a lot about it, always referring to stories of his time in the military.

The outskirts were not only a peaceful and a lightly forested area, but it had a water source. It was also far enough from the village for us to not be bothering anyone and, more importantly: no one would be bothering _us_.

It'll take a bit, but I'm sure we would be able to build some sort of shelter to keep us protected from the weather and whatever else lurks out here. All it would take is stealing from the village, and a little carpentry here and there.

We can do it.

"Then let's stay." I voice my decision, looking at Hidan with a confident smile as I explain my reasoning to him. I leave out the bits of my previous knowledge, but _do _tell him my ideas and plans.

"Let's do it, Kaoru!" Hidan shouts, already excited for what the future may bring.

**xxx**

Hidan and I begin working on our new residence, slowly but surely. I'm the one pulling most of the weight, seeing as I have more experience and most of the supplies we need have to be _stolen_. Not to mention, Hidan still needs to attend his classes at the Academy— if only to hone his skills and become a ninja. That was one of the things I _couldn't _teach him myself, unfortunately.

So far, we have a small makeshift tent and a firepit constructed. I don't have experience with actual _camping _myself, but I was able to adlib a few things using my previous knowledge and common sense. Other than that, we have a decent amount of items stockpiled as well— food, clothes, blankets, and etc.

When Hidan isn't at the Academy, I do my best to show him how to steal things and keep a low profile while in public. In turn, Hidan would be teaching me whatever he learned at the Academy. Recently, I have been focusing on anything he learns regarding survival in the outdoors.

I grew up homeless, but not in the _woods_.

All was well for us for a while, though with our track record— things wouldn't keep going our way for too long.

"Sea who'd hater, potato." Hidan says to me one morning. He's crouched right beside my bedroll, staring at me expectantly.

"Huh?" I blink at him —several times— in an effort to try and wake myself up.

Hidan rolls his eyes, repeating his previous statement. "Sea who'd hater, potato."

I hold up a hand, "I'm not awake. I can't understand you, because I'm not awake..." My eyes fluttered shut, but before I could fall back to sleep, Hidan began to shake me violently. _That _certainly woke me up— my body spiking with adrenaline due to the suddenness of it all.

"Hidan, cut it _out_!" I yell in protest, pushing Hidan away from me. He rolls his eyes, as if _I'm _the nuisance here.

"I _said_: See you later, otōto! Fuck, how many times do I have to say it?"

I stare at him, exasperated. "Seriously? That's why you're harassing me? Because you wanted me to know you said _goodbye_?" I groan, falling back onto my bedroll. "Go to fucking school, you bastard."

"Watch your mouth, Kaoru." Hidan frowns. "And _yeah_— I woke you up for that. Why is that suddenly a problem? I always do this. You just never remember 'cause you're half-asleep when I do."

I don't move from my spot. "Why wake me up now? Just let me sleep…"

"Sit _up_!" Hidan forces me back into a sitting position, roughly jostling my body. I glare at him, but it probably looks like a pout from his perspective. He sighs heavily, "I woke you up this time _because _you were ignoring me! You usually reply, and say, like —I don't know— _Bye_, too! Anyways, it pissed me off."

I deadpan, "I'd kill you right now if I could physically overpower you."

Hidan grins with his teeth. "I bet you would, my cute otōto." He ruffles my hair, nearly knocking me over with the force of it, and stands up as much as he can in our small tent. "Okay, I'm leaving now." He exits the tent, but peers back through the opening. His purple eyes stare at me hard.

Scoffing, I wave goodbye. "_See you later, nii-san!_"

Immediately, Hidan grins and waves back before he runs off. I can hear him yell back to me, "See you later!"

"Finally," I sigh to myself. "_Peace_."

* * *

I wake up again a few hours later and go about the responsibilities I had given myself.

One of which, consists of my daily run into town to _acquire _some goods.

I never visit the same place more than once a week. Otherwise the locals would start catching on to what I'm doing— I had to start being _extra _careful after those stupid kids almost got Hidan and I caught.

If Hidan and I are seen on the streets where all the market stands are set up, we're immediately chased away from the area by the shopkeepers. The shinobi only bother with us if they've been hired specifically to do just that. Otherwise, they don't care enough about what the street rats are up to.

I imagine the ninja here think themselves above the civilians and their "drama".

'_At least it's not too crowded today…_' I think to myself, slipping into a small grocer's. This store was relatively new to the village, and quite popular. Though the people trying to sell their goods via market stalls weren't fans for obvious reasons.

The head ninja is behind the development, saying it will be a great step forward to the future. To me, the future _he _is referring to is the future of his coffers. The head ninja is a lot of things, but above all, he's a selfish and greedy bastard.

The grocers seem to be experiencing a mildly slow day today, which is good since it means less people for me to avoid— but also _bad_, since it means the employees won't be too preoccupied to _not _notice a scrawny, homeless kid lurking around.

I seem to be in luck, however, as the worker on duty is busy dealing with an irate customer.

'_Retail never changes, huh_?' I stifle a snort as Islink through the aisles, tossing things in ratty bag (something I had recently taken from the blind lady that ran the trinket stall) as I go.

"Ma'am, once again— I'm not allowed to give you a different price for these items…" The employee's eyes shift around, and for a moment I thought they landed on me. The man quickly looks away, however, making me release the breath I had been holding.

"Well, why not!? I can get them cheaper at the produce stand!"

I roll my eyes at the exchange, and with my bag full, I slip back out of the shop and run back "home".

**xxx**

When I get back to camp, I begin to put away my findings as I usually do. I'm about halfway through when I'm assaulted by a deep and gritty voice.

"So, this is where the little rat has been hiding, huh?"

Turning around, stolen goods still in my hands, I meet the eyes of a fat, disgruntled looking old man. Going by his tailored apron, he's an employee from the grocer's. It looks like the employee from before _had _seen me, and snitched to the manager —or whoever this guy was— whom decided to take the time to stalk me back to Hidan and I's hideout.

"I've heard talk about some brats takin' what isn't theirs…" The man looks around the campsite before giving me a grin. "Guess I just caught me one of 'em, huh?"

"I don't know what you mean," I sniff. "Go bother someone else, _ojii-san_."

I go back to putting the goods away, keeping an ear on the intruder. He remains at a distance, mouthing off as he pokes his nose into the various odds and ends Hidan and I have sitting around. Discreetly, I make my way over to the logs near our firepit that we use as makeshift chairs— where I _know _Hidan has left a pouch of kunai, since I explicitly told him _not _to leave it out.

For once, Hidan's childishness is playing in my favor.

"Shut up, I think I'll take my precious time!" The man begins to grow a bit more _bold _and aggressive— tossing around things he finds and making a mess wherever he goes. "This stuff isn't yers, anyway!"

I roll my eyes, finally finding the pouch Hidan had left. Taking a kunai from it, I turn back around to face the bastard.

"You should leave now." I give him a sweet smile.

"Wh-" The man takes one look at the kunai in my grasp and laughs. "What's that? What are you gonna do with that, _huh_?" He throws his head back, laughing loudly some more. When he finally stops, it's only to approach me with a sneer. "You don't know what you got there, boy."

I say nothing, only staring blankly at the man as he gets closer and closer. Leaning into my face, he spits at me. "You and the rest of these orphans… Livin' on our streets. Stealing _our _things. You're all just eyesores. You're all better off _dead _with ya whore mothers—!"

Swiftly, I shove the kunai into the fat bastard's eye.

He immediately stumbles back, a scream building up in his throat. I don't give him a chance, rushing behind him and kicking in his knees. Adrenaline fuels me, and as soon as his throat is within reach, I slash it open.

As the man desperately clings to his throat, I stand over him with an emotionless expression. When his gurgles finally die down and his body stops spasming, I sigh.

This was a mess. The grass is covered in blood— some had even gotten on the logs near the firepit. You can't just get that shit out. It's all over my hands; all over my clothes. What am I going to tell Hidan? _How _am I going to move this two-hundred pound body?

"Fuck," I breathe, running my bloody hands through my hair. "Fuck." A laugh begins to build up. "_Fuck_," I wheeze and double over laughing. In my hysterics, I jab down with my arm and stab the man several more times. Blood spurts out with each violent jerk, splattering all over me. "What a _dumbass_!"

Out of breath, I pull myself up and stare down at the mess I had made. With a smile, I kick the bloody corpse. "Who's dead now?" I chuckle, shaking my head as I head down to the river.

Blood looks nice, but it feels gross.

**xxx**

I wash off most of the blood from my body, not bothering to change my clothes. I know I'll just be getting dirty again when it comes time to _remove _the stinking fat corpse that is now in the middle of our campsite.

Getting back to the campsite, I survey the area and take in the mess I made.

'_This… sucks._'

Sighing one last time, I set to work. In my past life, I never really cleaned up my messes —aside from hiding a body here and there— so this is relatively new territory for me.

The bloodied grass is pulled out of the ground and discarded into the fire pit, along with the dirtied bark from the log chairs we had crafted. Next, all I could really do was kick dirt around the area, and hope Hidan was dumb enough not to see anything out of place.

'_Now comes the hard part…_' Figuring out how to move this bloated body. Crouching down beside it, I inwardly go over a few ideas. '_I could dismember it, but ugh— that'd just make a mess again. I __**could**_ _drag it to the river and chop it into pieces there.. Hm… Maybe—_'

"What the _fuck!?_"

Alarmed, I promptly fall back on my ass. Cursing under my breath, I look up and at Hidan's shocked (and extremely confused) expression.

"Listen, Hidan. I can—"

"_What the fuck!?_"

I groan, rolling my eyes as I pull myself up. Hidan is frozen to the spot, his school stuff at his feet from where he had dropped it in his shock. I eye the materials for a second, "Wait— Shouldn't you be in class?"

"_Kaoru, what the—"_

"Okay, yeah. I heard you the first time." I roll my eyes, before gesturing to the dead body. I was hoping to avoid _exactly _this situation, but once again I'm going to just have to bite the bullet. "_So_, what happened was…"

"No— What— Kaoru, are you okay!?" Before I know it, Hidan has snapped out his shock of there being a _dead body _present in our campsite, and has switched over to concern for my well being. He grabs onto my shoulders, stepping on the corpse's hand in his rush to crowd me.

"Uh, yeah. Fine, actually..." I try to shuffle out of his hold, but he only grips me tighter. "Listen—"

"What happened?! Did he _touch _you? _Fuck! _How did he— What did he—"

"Please, fucking hell, Hidan. Let me _talk_."

Hidan pauses, but eventually nods his head before taking a deep breath. He's shaking, so I slowly put my hands on his before prying them off my shoulders

"_So_, what had happened was…"

After explaining the whole situation to Hidan, he takes it… surprisingly —or maybe not so surprisingly— _well_. He hovers over the dead body, as if inspecting it for himself, before finally giving it a harsh kick.

"Damn old man got what he deserved." Hidan punctuates the sentence with another harsh kick to the corpse's abdomen.

I watch dispassionately as more blood seeps from the body and onto the ground I had frantically cleaned up before. "Hidan, seriously?"

"What?" Hidan grunts at me, giving me a pointed look before turning back to the corpse again. "I can't believe ya killed somebody, though…" He turns to me with a worried frown, "Are you okay? I mean, aren't you supposed to be throwin' up or somethin'?"

"What? No, I'm fine."

"Well, I mean in the Academy, they're always talkin' about how killin' isn't easy. I think it's pretty fucking cool though..." He trails off, beginning to poke at the body _again_. He absently laughs when the body twitches. "Fucking _sick_, otōto."

"Oh, maybe I'm in shock." I deadpan.

Hidan rolls his eyes, before standing up fully again. "Whatever, you're just a kid so you don't get it."

I decide to hold my tongue at that one.

My brother continues, "_So, _we gotta do somethin' about this body. We can't leave it here to stink up our place."

"_That_, and also because I'm not ready to go down for murder. The villagers already hate us as it is. I don't feel like dealing with any more of their bullshit." Hidan nods in agreement to my words. "Problem is, I don't know any _ideal _places to hide a body. So, I was—"

"_Oh, _I know! Let's go find some place outside the village."

"That was kind of the plan, Hidan."

Ignoring me, Hidan gathers the things he had dropped earlier. "Let's go. I skipped out on classes for the rest of the day because I was _so _fucking bored! This couldn't be a better use of my time— Talk abouta adventure!"

"Yeah… _So _much fun. Nothing like going off with your brother to find a hiding place for a _body_."

"Ugh, shut up! You always ruin the fun, Kaoru."

* * *

The longer we walked, the more Hidan seemed to complain. I'm not sure what he expected when we took off on this "adventure" but clearly, all this uneventful walking _wasn't _it.

"You find anything yet?" He asks with an attitude that I _really _don't appreciate.

"I don't know. Does it _look_ like I've found anything? Why are you asking me, anyway? You should be looking, too."

Hidan huffs and rolls his eyes. "I _am_, it's just taking fucking forever and _nothing _has happened! This is so boring!"

I decide to ignore his whines, because replying would only result in both of us arguing… _again_, for probably the fifth time since we started "adventuring". With a sigh, I mute my brother from my mind and try to focus on the path in front of me.

Our surroundings get darker, but when I look up I can still see the sunlight poking through the top of the trees. "Is it just me, or is it night time already?" Hidan, somehow, also takes notice of the change in our surroundings. Though he's much more stupid than I give him credit for.

I take a moment to glare at my _older _brother, before continuing on.

"_No_, Hidan… You're just dumb."

"_Kaoru_, I swear— _Ew_, what's that smell?!"

We both stop, and Hidan is quick to dramatically cover his mouth and nose with his hands. I watch in dismay, my own face twisting at the odd stench that's suddenly wafting through the air.

"I don't know… If I had to guess, I'd have to say it was coming from there."

"Huh? Where?!"

"There." I point to the large looming cave that blocks the end of our path. Something akin to fog seems to be emitting from it, but after coming into closer contact, I find out that it's hot _steam_.

"Kaoru, are you _stupid_!?" Hidan roughly pulls me away from the entrance of the cave, "Don't go _in _there!"

I shrug him off with a scowl, "Why? This is exactly what we were looking for. We should see if there's any dark alcoves we can stuff that corpse in."

"Okay, how do ya know so much— _No. _Nevermind, I don't wanna fuckin' know. I don't wanna go in there anyway, it _stinks. _I. Will. _Puke._"

"Then wait outside. Big baby."

I turn, perfectly fine with investigating the "big ominous cave" on my own. I'm probably a fading figure by the time Hidan irritatingly runs after me.

Once he catches up to me, he makes sure to gag dramatically. The smell certainly got worse once inside the cave, but it was nowhere near enough to make my stomach turn.

"Hope you're fucking happy…." Hidan pouts, coughing into his arm.

"_Brimming_," I reply with a curl of my lips.

Eventually, the cave opens up to a large open area— made private by the large rock formations that somewhat enclosed it like a dome. The open area was full of what _looked _like blood red water… but the smell that emitted from it definitely signaled that it was something else entirely.

From beside him, Hidan looks around the area in childish curiosity. He's using his shirt to protect his nose from the smell, but is otherwise happy to look around in interest.

"Hey, what the— Shit, are those _bodies?!_"

My attention snaps to him immediately, "Bodies? Where?"

"_There_, in the water!"

I look to where my brother was pointing, and sure enough, through the mist I could vaguely see figures bobbing in the bloody water.

"Oooh…." I say with interest, feeling an elated smile on my lips. I edge forward to try and get a better look— Hidan right beside me, looking ready to wade in the water to go and get up close and personal with the various bodies.

"Guess we weren't the only ones who found a dumping grounds…" I mumble to myself, a small smile creeping up on my face. This place is _perfect._

Hidan grimaces, still upset with the smell. "I guess. It still fuckin' stinks— _Ahh!"_

Suddenly I'm being pushed out of the way and onto the floor. Hidan is yards away now, looking startled out of his mind.

"You better have a good reason for doing that," I glare, feeling a sharp sting from my now-scraped hands as I pull myself up once again.

"Sorry, otōto…" Hidan actually looks apologetic as he approaches me again. "That thing just scared the shit ouuta me! I didn't fuckin' see it there before."

I turn to look at said _thing_, and raise an eyebrow when I see a burned corpse melded into the rock wall.

"Whoa…" I say in wonder, admiring where skin meets cold, hard rock. The body is decked in what looks to be ninja gear, with our village symbol on the body's headband and a different sigil on the sleeves.

"That's a clan symbol," Hidan answers my unasked question. "I've seen it before, I think— at the Academy."

Surprised that Hidan would remember something as insignificant as history, I gape at him.

"Really...?"

Hidan deadpans, "I listen sometimes, okay."

I smirk, turning my attention back to the body. "Do you know the clan it belongs to?" With a frown, I reach up to touch the blood on the body's clothes. It's still wet.

Hidan's eyebrows raise, "It's fresh."

"Yeah…" Thinking about it, the few bodies that were floating in the water didn't show long term effects of being submerged.

Suddenly, Hidan gasps. "_Oh_, I remember now! I've heard about this place! I hear the ninjas always bitchin' about it! This must be the _Valley of Hell_, and that clan symbol? That belongs to the Chinoike clan… but everyone thought they died off years ago after being exiled."

"Huh, guess they managed to survive in this barren environment." I eye the body in the wall. "It definitely wasn't the wildlife that killed these people."

"Should we tell the head ninja?"

I snort. "Nah, they wouldn't believe us. They'd probably even think _we _killed them. We don't exactly have a great reputation…"

"Yeah." Hidan glares at the ground. "Whatever, let's just get the fuck out of here. I'm not in the mood to deal with whoever kicked these losers' asses."

I roll my eyes, but smile nevertheless. In the end, I was happy to find a place to store the body of that fat bastard— and plenty of other ones, too. When it came time for that.

* * *

**author's note: **you guys didn't forget that kaoru is a serial killer right? _right?_

thank you to everyone who waited patiently! i have finally finished this chapter, i was gonna make it a little longer but that would have stalled the release even more so i decided to just go ahead and post it :/

also big thanks to my dear friend and amazing beta, **fortheloveofb**. bless them for still helping me edit even when i take literal years to finish something.

* * *

**story rec: **"the blind nuke-nin" by _dark0insanity_


	4. kick me like a stray

_iv._

**chapter four - **_kick me like a stray  
__:-:-: _theme; _used to the darkness _by _des rocs :-:-:_

* * *

His name was Clement.

The name of Griffyth's savior that is. It was also the first thing he had decided to share with the teen, when he finally woke up from his drugged sleep.

Clement, who Griffyth liked to refer to as _Cement_, was an old army veteran. He specialized as a combat medic at the time, but was discharged after taking a near-fatal injury to his head. Clement liked to boast about the more than likely _traumatic _experience— saying he was made for tougher things, and that it wasn't just _fate _that let him get away with just a blind eye, but pure, unadulterated _skill_.

Yes, his reason for surviving was because he was _just _that good.

Needless to say, Griffyth had remained blank-faced throughout the whole tale, before asking Clement to pass the maple syrup. It would be only one of many stories he would hear through the years, not that he knew that at the time. At that moment, the only thing that had been on Griffyth's mind was retaliation on the brutes that had tried to _kill _him.

Can you believe that? The audacity of it all… _He _was the _killer_, not the person getting _killed_. It wasn't supposed to work like that! The shifted power dynamic was really taking a toll on him, as well as the aching pain in his side.

Yeah, Griffyth was mad. That much was obvious to… anyone really. He was practically glaring at the undercooked pancakes on his plate, oh— not to mention the fact that he was furiously stabbing Clement's _handcrafted _wood table over and _over _again with his fork.

"Okay, stop that," the moustached man had said, staring at the offending hand.

Griffyth paused in his tantrum to give the old man before him a deadend stare. "What? You gonna take my pancakes if I don't?"

"No, but I'll shoot you in the face." Clement then promptly pulled out a revolver from under the table, and aimed it directly between Griffyth's eyes. The safety clicked—the bullet in the chamber and ready to be let loose.

Griffyth tilted his head slightly, tongue in his cheek. '_Huh, that wasn't expected.'_

"_Okay_." The teen goes back to his breakfast. Clement put the gun away. Nothing unusual here.

"Found you in the junkyard bleedin' out. That normal for you?"

"Not really, junkyards aren't really my scene."

Clement stared. Griffyth caved with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay, _Cement_. I'm homeless— got mugged. Nothing too exciting. I should be asking _you _why I'm not at a hospital right now." Though really, Griffyth was relieved to not be in one. He didn't want to be put in a position where he would have to provide _information _about himself.

"Homeless? How old are you?"

"Eighteen. You didn't answer my question."

"I don't trust no place that makes ya _pay _for their help. What's your name?"

"I don't see how that's relevant. I'll be on my way—" Griffyth made to get up, but faltered when his side ached painfully. "—as soon as I'm fully healed up. You know how it is on the streets, you can't show any sign of weakness or you'll get eaten alive." He grinned impishly, though Clement didn't seem the least impressed.

"You could stay with me."

Griffyth blinked. Once, and then again.

"Huh?"

Clement cleared his throat, standing to wash the plate he had just used. "I know it's not much." He gestures with his free hand to the small, run-down looking shack. Griffyth's nose scrunched up in obvious agreement— but a roof over your head was indeed a roof. So, he wasn't picky at the state of the small home. "But a kid like you shouldn't be on his own out there. I was there for a while after I got discharged, but an ol' buddy of mine helped me out. Think of this as me returning the favor."

Griffyth remained silent, his face pensive as he brushed through the pros and cons of the arrangement. So far, Clement didn't seem like he'd get in the way of his _hobbies_. In fact, he hadn't asked too many invasive questions… Also, if Griffyth had to go back to the streets, he'd be starting with absolutely nothing once again. He didn't really look forward to that.

"So? You gonna tell me your name, kid?"

"Hm… If I stay, can you help me with something?"

"Depends, what is it?"

"I want you to teach me everything you know about medicine and anatomy."

"Heh, you fixin' to be a nurse, boy? Sure, I don't see why not."

"Then, my name's Griffyth. Thanks for taking me in, Cement."

"It's _Clement_, you little shit."

* * *

Returning back to our camp, Hidan and I thankfully find everything to still be where we left it. Including the bloody and mutilated corpse.

From there, we prepare to cut up and carry the body to the Valley of Hell. I find this process to be tedious, yet enjoyable. There's just this calming and _satisfying _feeling that comes with delicately cutting away someone's limbs. Blood gets everywhere, bodily fluids get everywhere, _guts _get everywhere… Definitely a _messy _activity, but an enjoyable one nonetheless.

Hidan has a bit more of a time with it. I figure this will be a good way to teach him where and how to _cut_, but, oddly, he doesn't take to it as quickly as I thought he would.

"This is fucking gross."

"Huh." I frown "I thought you'd be into this kinda thing."

Before Hidan can ask _why _I would think that, I list off all the acts of violence he's committed. Highlighting the one where he nearly beat a child to death (though, really, he did that because that kid had almost killed _me, _but he wasn't smart enough to argue).

"Okay, but that's _different_. I didn't slice them up into pieces like a meat chef!"

"A butcher."

"Yeah! If I'm gonna kill someone, I'm gonna kill them. I don't care about messin' with their dumb, dead bodies. I stab 'em, make 'em suffer— but clean up isn't my _thing_."

More than over listening to Hidan whine in my ear, I relent and let him sit aside while I finish preparing the body. He continues to watch, though, head in his hand as I organize the body parts and organs by weight.

It doesn't take me too long, though I'm not as fast as I used to be. My body is weaker than my previous one, and my tools aren't as _nice_. Either way, I get the job done and soon have Hidan helping me put the parts in bags so we can lug them back to Hell.

We take as much as we can, but it's clear that we'll definitely have to take at least _one _more trip. The man was fucking _large_, after all. On the way there, conversation is sparse aside from Hidan's usual complaints. However, after one bout of silence, Hidan decides to be curious.

"So, _otōto_…" Hidan pauses, expecting me to answer. I don't, and he clicks his tongue. "_Otōto_, are you listening?"

Sighing, I tell him I am. As much as I wish I was deaf in that moment, I was.

Hidan pointedly ignores my comment, and continues "How do you know all this stuff?"

"What stuff?" I ask innocently.

"_Killing _stuff. Y'know, you killed a guy twice your size. You're not even in the Academy, and I know _I _never taught ya how to do it." I shrug, but Hidan continues. "_And _you knew what to do afterwards. Didn't even have to think about it."

"I don't know. Just do. Don't _you _ever just know things? How do you know how to breathe?"

Just like that, Hidan's mind is distracted and we continue the rest of the way without much excitement. Not counting the several times we have to stop because Hidan is unconsciously holding his _breath_, seemingly forgetting how to breathe now that he's aware of it.

'_Only I would get stuck with a dumbass like this._'

**xxx**

A couple weeks go by without incident, and Hidan and I return to focusing on our daily lives. He would attend the Academy, come home and whine about his day. I would thread through the streets, making lifts as I slithered past people before coming back to camp to work on my own set of training. Then, once Hidan got back and finished whining, he would teach me a little about what he learned today.

I thought things would continue to go on as normal, but during my walk through the village today, I couldn't help but overhear a _lot _of talk from the civilians. The conversation centered around a specific _grocery _store and it's manager; apparently, he had gone missing and his wife is in a flurry of panic.

Clearly, this is a problem.

It seems that stupid old man's existence _was _noticed by other people, which is unfortunate because I was hoping he would just fade away from people's minds. Also, this means people will continue to _talk _and grow curious. Curious enough to most likely want answers, and even go looking for them.

Eventually, someone will say they last saw the man slip off to the village outskirts— _That's _when things will get very, _very _sticky and irritating.

Sighing, I sit down across from Hidan. He's currently _whittling_, a hobby I didn't know he had. He's horrible at it, but, still, I didn't even think he knew such a thing existed.

"We have to move."

Hidan stops, a confused expression on his face that I'm very used to seeing. "Huh? The fuck you mean we have to _move_?"

"I meant what I said, moron," I reply instantly with a roll of my eyes. Hidan doesn't look impressed, so I pout and huff before continuing in a lowered voice. "People are talkin' about that man I killed." Hidan is instantly at attention, and I'm silently proud that he can see how serious this is.

"So…" he whispers back to me, looking around the area as if someone could jump out at us at any moment. "What does that mean for us? Do we have to run away? Should we start packing now?"

"No, no. If we could leave the village, I would've planned on that forever ago." I frown to myself, mumbling, "We're too weak right now." Sighing again, I regain focus on the issue at hand. "Anyway, it just means we need to get out of here before they know to _look _here."

"Where are we gonna go then?"

I shrug, kicking at the dirt. "I don't know, but I'll figure it out. You just focus on the Academy."

Hidan frowns, but nods his head in acceptance. Which is surprising. I expected him to huff, or maybe whine about having to completely demolish our campsite that we had worked so hard on. Maybe he's maturing...?

'_Or maybe he's hiding something… Nah, he's too stupid to be sneaky._'

"Wanna train?" I ask, and Hidan's pensive look is replaced with a bloodthirsty grin.

"You know it, otōto!"

* * *

The next day, while Hidan is at the Academy, I decide to slink around the village. I'm hoping to find a new spot for Hidan and I to lie low. I thought of places like abandoned buildings, or forgotten parts of the town. Maybe I would even stumble across where the homeless community resides… That would certainly give me a sense of déjà vu.

All-in-all, my eyes are wide open— along with my mind in case I need to get creative. I remember all the temporary shelters I went through in my past life; behind dumpsters, inside storm drains outside of cities, inside people's _attics… _I took what I could get, and I never let go.

After a few hours of wandering around though, it's pretty clear I'm just not having any luck today. Just as I'm about to throw in the towel and return to our camp, I stumble across a pretty decent sized building in one of the nicer parts of the village. It's near the front of the village, where the head ninja has strategically placed the more eye-catching businesses and amenities.

It's a library.

There is a shinobi near the front entrance, sitting casually and reading a book. He glances at me from the corner of his eye, but nevertheless pays no special attention to me. It's the _civilian _librarian that gives me trouble.

The middle-aged woman greets my small, dirty form with a sneer. My hands twitch with the urge to strangle her, but other than that I walk away unbothered.

I explore the building for a bit, before finally stumbling across a section that _isn't _just boring storybooks. This section, from what I can tell, holds a lot of informative texts and instructional books. It's probably meant for Academy students, or freshly-minted genin. I am neither of those things, but no one is stopping me from pulling several books off the shelf.

I find a couple that catch my interest; a book on chakra and chakra control, one about weapons and proper handling techniques, and one about _medical _chakra.

I spend a good hour scanning through all of them, though the one I decide to focus on the most is the book on chakra and chakra control. The other two can wait until I am comfortable enough with our supposed _life force _for me to tackle them.

The book goes on to explain chakra a bit better than the brief explanation Hidan gave me before, and talks about other ways you can work on your chakra control and increase the amount of chakra you actually _have_. I'm still essentially a baby, so I'll have to wait a bit longer before I can train my chakra reserves. Even then, according to the book, some people are born with naturally small ones. So, I'll have no way of officially knowing until I'm fully grown— it won't stop me from trying until then.

After reading through a few more chapters, and learning there are _tree-walking _and _water-walking _techniques, I decide to take the books and head back to the campsite for further experimentation.

Only, as soon as I make it to the front of the library, the woman who sneered at me before abruptly stops me with a firm hand to my shoulder.

"You can't take books out of the library."

'_In general, or __**me**__,_ _specifically, I wonder._'

"Okay," I say simply, a tooth-rotting smile on my face.

Turning away, I return to the area where I came from. I can hear the woman hum smugly to herself, but no time to get irritated about that! She'll definitely be dead by the week's end, anyway. Unless someone beats me to it, of course.

Slinking to the back of the library, I find a window to pry open before sliding through it— books in hand.

"As if, you dumb bitch."

* * *

Rather than go straight back to the camp, I zig-zagged around the village on the off-chance that the ninja "standing guard" at the library was following me. After an hour of doing so, it's clear they don't care enough— or more likely, they hadn't even noticed I slipped off with the stolen books.

The security around here is definitely lacking in both presence and in skill, but maybe that was normal for a small hidden village? I'm not sure, seeing as I had never been outside of it.

Once I make it back to our home of sorts, I instantly get to work on studying the book some more. As I read, I practice some of the suggested exercises. There's a highlighted one that apparently originated in Konohagakure, that involves holding a leaf to one's forehead. It seems simple enough, so I try to copy it, but with thicker materials to challenge myself.

Holding something to your forehead is a bit different than holding something on your arm, so, _of course, _the fucking _stick _I was using refused to stay glued to my forehead for more than a couple seconds. I had better luck on other parts of my body, but my head? Impossible.

"Fucking irritating," I grumble to myself as I try to focus on the stick once more. It has only been about thirty minutes, but I'm already losing my patience. Surely, this is supposed to be easier? I'm smart enough to pick up on things _fast_, so what's the hold up?

'_So stupid. Isn't it dangerous to forcefully channel chakra to your head like this? What if my brain explodes?_'

After a few more tries, and a lot of deep breaths, I finally get the stick to stay on my forehead for longer than five minutes. Just as I'm about to beat that record by hitting _ten _minutes, I lose focus and the stick falls into my lap.

"_Fuck!_"

I pick up the stick and hurl it into the river—with chakra, apparently, going by the large bowling-ball splash it makes before splintering into pieces.

"Oh… Cool." I stare down at my hands and smile at this discovery. "Cutting through bones will be easier."

Sitting up, I decide to put my books away before Hidan comes back and accidentally destroys them somehow. I have good timing, because not a second later Hidan is running into the campsite as if he's being chased.

I'm pleased to see that Hidan isn't out of breath from the intense run. His stamina training is seriously showing some progress.

"Where's the fire?" I ask.

"What?" Hidan replies with a confused expression.

I roll my eyes, forgetting that I'm speaking to an idiot. "Nothing. What's wrong? You were running as if you were rushing to get here." A part of me is on edge, on the off chance Hidan had a run in with some shinobi and they were on the way here _right now_.

"Oh, yeah—" Hidan's grin pushes away my fears, and replaces them with a new one… "I found a place for us to stay!"

"..._You_ did?" I ask carefully. "Where?"

"It's near where we used to live with Okaa-san. Not _our _place, but another one. It's an actual _house _though, like, with a roof and everything!"

"Mhmm…" Clearly, I'm skeptical, because it's _Hidan_. Someone who has proven to not be reliable in a _lot _of ways, because, unlike me, he's a normal kid.

"Yeah." Calming down a little from his excitement, Hidan begins to look a little _bashful _I want to say. It's not a normal expression on him —flushed cheeks and averting of the eyes— but it kind of looks cute in an amusing way. "You're always doin' shit for me, and _I'm _your aniki! _I _should be taking care of _you_." He sniffs, kicking at the ground in his… well, I don't really know what he's feeling. Insecure as an older brother? Embarrassed to even be admitting that I'm toting him around like he's a bag of rocks?

Either way I decide to take pity on him.

"Thanks, nii-san…" I mumble before wrapping my arms around Hidan. Hugging is still a new concept for me, but they're surprisingly warm and relaxing. Who knew human contact could be anything other than disgusting?

Hidan can't hold back a childish giggle and eagerly squeezes me back, lifting up my small body for a second before putting me down. If he hadn't, I'd have probably bitten his ear off.

"Let's go! I'll show it to ya!"

**xxx**

Hidan leads me to the home we used to share with Maemi. Walking through the streets, taking turn after turn, I begin to vaguely recognize the more rundown area of town.

Hidan has a tight hold on my hand as he guides me, and has a small smile on his face— I wonder if he even knows it's there. No doubt, he's feeling proud right now as a big brother, but, honestly, his hand is sweaty and I feel nauseous at the sticky feeling— but the weight of his hand doesn't bother me, surprisingly.

I study his face as I squeeze his hand back; his smile widens.

'_Pft, so easy to please._' I smirk to myself.

My brother begins to slow his fast pace when we arrive at our destination. I examine the building carefully. Oddly, it has to be the best looking building in this district. On the outside, it looks like a quaint tea shop— there's no sign to be found, so I'm left to my assumptions.. Though, looking at the suspicious people loitering around it… It probably isn't your normal run-of-the-mill "tea shop".

"Hidan…" I begin, inching a bit closer to the boy as I speak, my eyes still wary of the people around us. "Where did you hear about this place?"

"Huh?" Hidan says distractedly. He looks like he's looking for someone, and would have probably attempted to go inside if I wasn't glued to him. "Um, this pretty lady said she knew Okaa-san. She said— Oh, that's her! Hey, lady!"

Hidan begins to wave excitedly at a woman who has just stepped out of the tea shop. She's dressed formally, in a _revealing _kind of way. Her dark hair is pinned up with fancy pins, and she's indeed _pretty _as Hidan had described her. Before he had called out to her, it looked like she was seeing someone out.

The man who is accompanying her barely glances our way, his entire focus on her. He has a dopey smile, a rumpled appearance, and leaves the woman with a handful of ryō before departing.

I groan, shoving my face into Hidan's side and startling him.

"Hidan, what the _fuck_?"

"What?"

Before I can scold him, the woman he called out to finally approaches. She adjusts her kimono's sleeves from where they had slipped down to reveal her shoulders; I scowl at the action— the damn thing is probably _stretched _out, or meant to reveal her skin.

"Hidan-kun, I'm glad you decided to take me up on my offer."

"Yeah—"

"No," I interrupt, putting myself slightly in front of Hidan. Not out of protection, but to indicate _I'm _the one making the decisions here. "That's not why we're here." The woman eyes me with amusement, grey eyes shining.

"Oh?" She says, tilting her head just a bit. "You must be, Kaoru-kun! Hidan spoke a lot about you— I never did get to meet you. For some reason Maemi never brought you around like she did with Hidan-kun. You look adorable!" She goes to run her hands through my hair, but I recoil quickly and slap her hand away.

Hidan frowns at the exchange, and anxiously pulls me back to be at his side. "Oi, don't touch him! He doesn't like it!"

The lady laughs coyly, covering her mouth with practised ease. "My apologies, Kaoru-kun. Ah, where are my manners? My name is Kagura Akadō. A pleasure to meet you, finally."

When I make no move to return the greeting, Hidan takes it upon himself to speak up. "Karou wanted to see the place."

Kagura's eyebrows rise as she stands. "Is that so? Well, then allow me to give you a tour."

She turns to lead us inside. Hidan follows after, but pauses when I make no move to follow him. "C'mon! The fuck are you doing? You wanted to see the place, so let's go!"

"I'm _not _going inside that cesspool."

"What? No, this is a tea shop." Hidan tries to grab my arm, but I forcefully pull away. "What the _fuck_, you're gonna piss me off!"

"_Hidan_," I ground out. "This place isn't a fucking _tea shop. _It's a _brothel_, you fucking idiot."

"Huh?" Hidan begins to look around, and, probably for the first time, picks up on the signs of what the establishment _truly _is. "_Oh._"

"_Yeah_." I _kindly_ don't add: you dumb fuck.

"_Oh_," Hidan repeats again to himself. "She did tell me she worked with Okaa-san. Kinda forgot she was a whore... and this place looks too nice to be a bitch shack!"

"Looks can be deceiving, _nii-san_," I say patronizingly.

Hidan glares at me. "Shut _up_. Whatever— we're here now, so let's just go and take a _look _at least. We've gotta find somewhere to crash!"

My whole body cringes at the thought of so much as setting my foot on the _steps _of the establishment.

"_Fuck _that, we'll find somewhere else. Those places are _dirty_, Hidan. They're not meant for _children _to be hanging around. Let's go."

I go to walk away, but once again Hidan grabs at me. "Kaoru, stop being a fuckin' _bitch!_"

"Let _go_!" I fight his hold, pulling against his grip with all my might. He's shockingly stronger than me, and that only makes me become more frantic in my attempts to get away. "Hidan, _stop_!" I yell, and in my frustration I can feel my eyes begin to tear up.

_That _catches Hidan off guard, and he immediately stops fighting me. Great, but the abrupt change sends me falling backwards and into some drunken fool.

"Oi, you dumb brat!" The man goes to grab me by the collar, but a manicured hand quickly intervenes. Kagura smiles down at the seedy man, her eyes shining and her teeth _sharp_. "Ah, there you are! We've been expecting you. Please, allow my dear nee-san to show you the way." Kagura gestures to another worker of the brothel— a woman with blonde hair and dark eyes, who is just as beautiful and flawless looking as she is.

The man doesn't have to be told twice, and he's soon stumbling up the few steps to be escorted inside by the blonde woman.

Kagura turns back to us, her painted smile still on her face. "No worries, Ena will handle him for us." I quickly wipe at my eyes, pointedly ignoring the worried look Hidan sends me. "I came back out here when I noticed you weren't behind me. Are you both ready for the tour now?"

Hidan looks lost and unsure, a frown on his face as he looks from me to Kagura. Slowly, he shakes his head. "No, we're—"

"Yes." My voice cracks, so I clear my throat before continuing. "We'll have a look inside." I sniff, and pointedly look away when Hidan looks at me with a surprised expression.

"Otōto, but—"

"Lead the way, Akadō-san."

Kagura looks between the two of us with an impish smile before nodding, "Right this way, and do be sure to keep up this time." At that, she giggles coyly like she had before.

Hidan continues to eye me strangely, but nevertheless follows when Kagura begins to walk away. He sets pace beside, saying nothing as he grabs my hand and threads our fingers together. I stiffen, but don't pull away.

"Sorry," Hidan whispers.

I say nothing, but when I squeeze his hand, Hidan's goofy smile makes a return.

* * *

**author's note: **build up build up and more build up ! thanks for tuning in for another chapter ;* i'll probably be forced back to work soon so yeah,, no more free time and probs longer waits between chapters again but what can ya do.

this chapter was beta'd by **fortheloveofb**, my berry best friend! thank you for the hard word :]

* * *

**story rec: **"driving out the darkness" by _claamchowder_


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